I visited my grandfolk in Oklahoma over Thanksgiving this past year, and we were all sitt'n around the kitchen, havin' a cup o liquid Christmas when Grammommie unfolded this story:
Bout 30 years ago she was visit'n my aunt Mae and Uncle Roy in Georgia for the holidays. Aunt Mae had got up to take my little cousins over to their other grandfolks' house, and uncle Roy stayed back with Grammommie to keep her from gett'n lonely.
They were sitt'n in the livingroom flippin' thru the channels for awhile when uncle Roy decided that would be a good time to make use of his present from aunt Mae. Now Santa Mae had got uncle Roy a subscription to the Playboy Channel for Christmas; she'd wrapped up the remote control with a lil' note taped to it that said:
Channel 29. Love, Mae.
Sweet, but not real suitable for polite company. But that didn't stop uncle Roy.
Anyway, there was Grammommie. . . sitt'n in a room with my uncle Roy watching the Playboy channel, all kindsa mortified. He didn't mind her, though, he watched it for a bit and then excused himself. He got up, went into his bedroom for a few minutes, and then came back out and fell asleep on the couch. Never did change the fuckin' channel.
I always knew that guy was a pervert (my sister and called him Uncle Pervy when nobody was around), and that story didn't do nothin' to change my mind.
Showing posts with label Group Blogging. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Group Blogging. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Christmas Recipe Swap (Group Blog Thursday)
Yes, I LOVE recipe swaps! It's the topic for Steph In The City's Thursday Group Blog. I can't think of a better thing to blog collectively about just before I do my Christmas dinner shopping, thanks, Stephanie! Here's my recipe for a fanTAStic side dish (crock pot, so it won't take up valuable oven or stove top space!), and something to take the edge off of over-the-top family members ;)
Orange-Glazed Carrots
Ingredients:
1 (32 oz) package baby carrots
1/2 cup firmly packed light brown sugar
1/2 cup orange juice
3 tablespoons butter
3/4 teaspoon cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
2 tablespoons cornstarch
1/4 cup cold water
Combine the carrots, brown sugar, orange juice, butter, cinnamon and nutmeg in a large bowl. Mix well. Place carrot mixture in slow cooker set on LOW. Cover and cook until carrots are tender but not soggy (about 3.5-4 hours).
Spoon carrots into a serving bowl. Remove the juices to a small saucepan and heat to a boil over high heat. Mix the cornstarch and water in a small bowl and blend. Stir into saucepan and boil 1 minute until sauce is thickened (stir constantly). Pour sauce over carrots and serve!
My Variations:
I like to double the sauce and add a chopped apple or some halved cranberries. It makes a great alternative for those who don't like sweet potatoes :)
Gluhwein (German Spiced Wine)
Ingredients:
1 lemon
12 whole allspice
12 whole cloves
dash of ground nutmeg
1 cup water
1 cup sugar (Splenda works too)
3 cinnamon sticks
6 cups of cheap Burgundy wine (the cheaper varieties flavour better, so don't catch yourself thinking that if you buy a better quality wine that it'll taste better. I like to use Inglenook).
In a small sauce pan, combine water, sugar, allspice, cloves, nutmeg, cinnamon sticks and the peel of the lemon (it can be chopped, torn into small pieces or grated, it doesn't matter). Heat to boiling and then simmer 5 minutes. Remove from heat, cover, and let it sit 15 minutes. Strain the syrup, retaining the cinnamon sticks.
In a medium stock pot or Dutch oven, pour the wine and squeeze the juice from the lemon (pick out the seeds). Pour in the syrup and add the cinnamon sticks. Heat slowly until hot, but not boiling (boiling ruins it). Serve in mugs.
My Variations: I like to throw two or three Tazo Passion tea bags into the syrup as its boiling (remove with the other spices) and garnish the mugs with orange slices.
Enjoy!
Ingredients:
1 (32 oz) package baby carrots
1/2 cup firmly packed light brown sugar
1/2 cup orange juice
3 tablespoons butter
3/4 teaspoon cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
2 tablespoons cornstarch
1/4 cup cold water
Combine the carrots, brown sugar, orange juice, butter, cinnamon and nutmeg in a large bowl. Mix well. Place carrot mixture in slow cooker set on LOW. Cover and cook until carrots are tender but not soggy (about 3.5-4 hours).
Spoon carrots into a serving bowl. Remove the juices to a small saucepan and heat to a boil over high heat. Mix the cornstarch and water in a small bowl and blend. Stir into saucepan and boil 1 minute until sauce is thickened (stir constantly). Pour sauce over carrots and serve!
My Variations:
I like to double the sauce and add a chopped apple or some halved cranberries. It makes a great alternative for those who don't like sweet potatoes :)
Ingredients:
1 lemon
12 whole allspice
12 whole cloves
dash of ground nutmeg
1 cup water
1 cup sugar (Splenda works too)
3 cinnamon sticks
6 cups of cheap Burgundy wine (the cheaper varieties flavour better, so don't catch yourself thinking that if you buy a better quality wine that it'll taste better. I like to use Inglenook).
In a small sauce pan, combine water, sugar, allspice, cloves, nutmeg, cinnamon sticks and the peel of the lemon (it can be chopped, torn into small pieces or grated, it doesn't matter). Heat to boiling and then simmer 5 minutes. Remove from heat, cover, and let it sit 15 minutes. Strain the syrup, retaining the cinnamon sticks.
In a medium stock pot or Dutch oven, pour the wine and squeeze the juice from the lemon (pick out the seeds). Pour in the syrup and add the cinnamon sticks. Heat slowly until hot, but not boiling (boiling ruins it). Serve in mugs.
My Variations: I like to throw two or three Tazo Passion tea bags into the syrup as its boiling (remove with the other spices) and garnish the mugs with orange slices.
Enjoy!
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Group Blog Thursday: Tacky Holiday Traditions
This is my first time contributing to Stephanie's Group Blog Thursday. This week's topic is tacky Christmas traditions that we'd like to see banished from today's society. Take a gander at hers, The Ugly Christmas Sweater, and contribute if you like :) You've always been a tough act to follow, Steph, but here goes!
While i was checking out at Big Buys yesterday, i had the following conversation with the cashier:
"Will that be all for you today?"
"Yes, thank you."
"I only ask because. . . ," she paused and eyed my meager selection of purchases-to-be. "To be blunt, it just seems you're being a little chintzy this year."
"Well, it's not exactly chintziness. I took a pay cut-," i began defensively.
"Yeah, yeah, the economy, blah blah blah," she interrupted, "You know, this is the one time of year where you have the opportunity let everyone in your life know how much you care about them, and you're about to drop the ball with some of them, and completely blow it with others. I mean, if you're willing to sacrifice your friends' and family's perfect holiday, that's your prerogative."
I was at a loss. She was right, i was buying things i knew my kids weren't exactly hoping for, and outright not buying for others at all. I tried not to look ashamed.
"Well, i . . . ," i stammered, groping for an unScroogely excuse. She held up her hand, mercifully forestalling my lameness.
"But there IS something you can do about it."
"There is?" Relief washed over me.
"Yes. You can apply for our Big Buys Visa card and max it out. Nothing says, 'I care' like a maxed balance on your store credit card."
"Hmm, i don't know. . . "
"Low monthly payments! A very competitive 35% APR! And a guaranteed line of credit that's unjustifiably high, given your recently-trimmed salary."
"Won't that take me like, 25 years to pay off?"
"Pah, 21! PLUS you'll get 10% off your first purchase!"
"10%! Do you know what this means?!" i enthused, my mind racing with the possibilities.
"I certainly do. You can buy 10% MORE gifts. That means you can even buy for a few co-workers you don't even like! Come on, let's face it. This is NOT the time to hide behind flimsy excuses like 'your budget' and 'the economy'."
"You're absolutely right. What're you waiting for?! Sign me up!" I smiled beatifically at the saviour of my family's holiday happiness as she ran my instant credit app.
While i was checking out at Big Buys yesterday, i had the following conversation with the cashier:
"Will that be all for you today?"
"Yes, thank you."
"I only ask because. . . ," she paused and eyed my meager selection of purchases-to-be. "To be blunt, it just seems you're being a little chintzy this year."
"Well, it's not exactly chintziness. I took a pay cut-," i began defensively.
"Yeah, yeah, the economy, blah blah blah," she interrupted, "You know, this is the one time of year where you have the opportunity let everyone in your life know how much you care about them, and you're about to drop the ball with some of them, and completely blow it with others. I mean, if you're willing to sacrifice your friends' and family's perfect holiday, that's your prerogative."
I was at a loss. She was right, i was buying things i knew my kids weren't exactly hoping for, and outright not buying for others at all. I tried not to look ashamed.
"Well, i . . . ," i stammered, groping for an unScroogely excuse. She held up her hand, mercifully forestalling my lameness.
"But there IS something you can do about it."
"There is?" Relief washed over me.
"Yes. You can apply for our Big Buys Visa card and max it out. Nothing says, 'I care' like a maxed balance on your store credit card."
"Hmm, i don't know. . . "
"Low monthly payments! A very competitive 35% APR! And a guaranteed line of credit that's unjustifiably high, given your recently-trimmed salary."
"Won't that take me like, 25 years to pay off?"
"Pah, 21! PLUS you'll get 10% off your first purchase!"
"10%! Do you know what this means?!" i enthused, my mind racing with the possibilities.
"I certainly do. You can buy 10% MORE gifts. That means you can even buy for a few co-workers you don't even like! Come on, let's face it. This is NOT the time to hide behind flimsy excuses like 'your budget' and 'the economy'."
"You're absolutely right. What're you waiting for?! Sign me up!" I smiled beatifically at the saviour of my family's holiday happiness as she ran my instant credit app.
****
Okay, so it didn't quite happen like that, but that's how it feels when every person who works at the store stuffs instant credit apps in my face as i shop. So the tacky holiday tradition i'd like to see done away with: companies trying to strong-arm me into fiscal irresponsibility by pushing credit cards on me (that i know damn well i can't afford), using the illusion that holiday happiness comes from a store.
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