Most people look at a dog, and and are completely disarmed by how cute he is. How fun, how sweet, how loving, how soft; and the adorability of his antics! People just melt in the innocent eyes of a dog.
But behind those innocent eyes lies deviousness, the depths of which we shall never fully plumb. Deceit and dubiousness cloak themselves in soft fur and doting attention, distracting you from their plots and intentions. Oh, yes, dogs have a hidden agenda. The agenda?
Acquire more food by any means necessary.
I was cooking supper yesterday (it was Taco Tuesday), when i noticed my dog standing wiltedly by his food bowl. He paced back and forth between me and his bowl, looking forlornly into its empty depths, and then wistfully back at me.
"He must be pretty hungry if he's standing at his bowl instead of scavenging for possible dropped food around my feet," i thought to myself. So i went out to the garage, filled the scoop a little fuller than usual, since it was a half hour past his normal dinner time, and dumped it into his bowl. He fell onto the food like a parched man into an oasis after a month in the desert.
Ry was sitting at the table, doing his homework, and he asked me, "Did you just feed the dog?"
"Yeah, i got it."
"I already fed him."
What! It was all an act, then. This dog, without a word spoken, outright LIED to me! He was a veritable Scammy McScammerson! And i fell for it; hook, line and sinker. He finished his food and waddled smugly by me. He looked up at me as he passed, and i could swear i could see his little Bean thoughts in his little Bean head:
"Sucker!"
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