Wear Your Wet Fucking Shoes Down In The Pit
Anyone who bowls knows that you end on a slide before hurling the ball down the lane. They also know that if you step in something wet, you won't slide- you'll go and attempt to slide, and pitch forward directly onto your face, fucking up your face and the frame. It's winter, people! Take your wet fucking shoes off on the goddamn carpet!
Bring Your Screaming 2 Year Old
. . . and please, don't bother trying to control them. By all means, plead with them as they scream and run all over the lanes, as though that will cause them to see the error of their ways, go sit sedately on the bench and tone it the fuck down. Don't mind me standing there on the approach, waiting for you to collect your snot-nosed spawn out of my path. And you know how much I love it when they let out that piercing shriek when you finally decide to give up with the pathetic-voiced cajoling, remember that they're portable, and come and carry them back to your side of the bench!
Try On Six Pairs Of Shoes Each While I Wait To Pay
Really?? How is it that you don't know your own shoe size?! Oh, you DO know your shoe size, you're just looking for that perfect-fitting pair of RENTAL shoes. Well, that makes perfect sense. Rather, it would if they weren't RENTAL shoes.
Ignore Lane Courtesy
Seriously, if you don't know any better than to wait for the guy next to you to throw the fucking ball before you go charging up there to throw your granny-shot, just don't even bother lacing up your shoes. This is one of the single jerkiest things you can do to another bowler.
Arrive In A Group of Pre-Teen Girls
Pre-teen girls shouldn't be allowed in public in groups of larger than, oh, say, one. They definitely shouldn't be allowed to congregate on the lane next to me and scream OMG OMG OMG!!! at one another. Strike, spare, gutter ball, the ball returning. . . it all elicits the same response, and I hate them for it. So if you're a girl between the age of 10 and 17, kindly stay home and spare those around you the agony of your presence.
5 comments:
LOL!
i've never been bowling in my life and always wanted to go.
But yes, I have seen those you mentioned at other places as well...especially the screaming toddler invading your personal/group's space.
I've gone bowling enough to know how to follow common courtesy in a bowling alley, even if I suck at bowling.
Every time I see a group of screaming pre-teen girls I cringe and wonder if I was really like that at that age. Actually, I was kind of a weirdo even then, and don't think I went in for the screaming girly thing.
I'm a horrible bowler...and I can't seem to master the slide. My form sucks! But I definitely know that some people take it seriously...and I always follow lane courtesy. Have you ever been stuck beside someone who takes forever to throw their ball, though? They just stand there, as if preparing for the throw of a lifetime?
LMJ- Oh, do go! In spite of the picture i've just painted, it's actually a really fun thing to do
Alissa- I know what you mean. I wonder if I was that bad, too, but I like to think I wasn't. It may not be true, but it makes me feel better anyway :)
Steph- Oh, yes, I know the type. It drives me insane to have to wait on those guys.
I'm a horrible bowler too, but I love it! It's really fun! Trust me, I understand about the screaming girls and the OMGs....It's all too real!
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