Women Are Disgusting

My husband took me to see Wall-E today. I'd like to mention that it's yet another in the long list of awesome Pixar movies. But that isn't really what i wanted to talk about.

As most people who are even casually acquainted with me know, i am cursed with a hamster's bladder. I usually wait until the previews start, and then i get up and hit the bathroom, making it back in time to catch the beginning of the movie. This usually allows me to sit through a whole 90ish minute movie without getting up to pee. Usually. It doesn't really help that Jim buys me the Bladder Buster sized soda, but i digress.

Anyhow, the previews came on and i got up to find the bathroom. I walked in and entered the first stall and was immediately glad i looked down before getting down to business, because someone had pissed all over the toilet seat. Annoyed, i moved to the next stall down. That one was in even worse shape than the first. . . complete with piss all over the seat and a dirty tampon applicator on the floor. In the third and fourth ones, someone's lunch had apparently rebelled against their bowels, though thankfully it didn't find its way onto the toilet seat. The fifth one was clean.

It's worth mentioning that all the stalls in the bathroom have those paper ass-barriers and paper bag-lined feminine hygiene receptacles hanging on the walls. It's also worth mentioning that this is a common occurrance.

So i have to ask: why are women so fucking disgusting?! Why do four out of six stalls have to be completely unusuable because these bitches can't see fit to use the sanitary tools available to them or flush the toilet (something i'm SURE these hypocritical supertwats yell at their hapless husbands and children about when at home)?

And how does a woman micturate on the toilet seat in the first place?! Is she standing up man-style? Or is she doing that hover-thing that our grandmothers taught us to do in public bathrooms? If she's going to do that, why can't she lift up the seat? Others would care so much less if she splashed on the porcelain than the seat itself. But what the hell is wrong with using the paper ass-guards? That's what they're there for! And has our regard for the next woman fallen so low that we can't be bothered to dispose of used sanitary items in the receptacle? Don't even get me started with the lazy bitches who neglect to flush after their public dump-taking. Yes, it's a natural function that can't always wait until we get home. Understood. But no one wants to KNOW you couldn't wait until you got home! With that much inattention to public cleanliness, i hope they at least remembered to wipe their own asses.

But the people i feel worst for are the theater employees. Some poor sap has to go in there and mop up urine and all other manner of nastiness behind these women who've regressed back to their two-year old bathroom habits. Probably for minimum wage. So if you're a conscientious user of public restrooms, kudos to you, and thank you for being a good example of a decent human being. If you're one of these oblivious or uncaring degenerates, clean up your act or strap on a diaper before leaving the house so others don't have to clean it up for you.