I'd seen the flyers and heard the morning announcements all week long: Hazing of freshmen will not be tolerated!
"Yeah, sure," I thought sardonically to myself.
My destination loomed ahead of me, Mr. Kascmarek standing at the door as we filed inside.
"Top o' the mornin' to ye, ladies!" he said to us, smiling brightly.
"What a dork!" I thought to myself, unable to keep from smiling back as I ducked into the safety of my Astronomy class.
"It's not even morning anymore," I heard one of the other girls complain to her friend, rolling her eyes toward the ceiling. Last class of the day on the last day of the first week of my freshman year, then I could escape to the refuge of my bus.
I didn't hear a word Mr. Kasczmarek said that period. I nervously watched clock, mentally rehearsing my plan and sweating being recognized as an unconsecrated fish. Luckily, I had a secret weapon. All I needed was a few minutes alone in a bathroom to put the plan into effect. Ten minutes till bell time, I got up to ask if I could use the restroom.
"Feminine emergency," I whispered urgently to him. He nodded his uncomfortable permission at me. I gathered up my books eagerly and headed for the door. I poked my head out to scout the coast; it was clear, so I made for the closest bathroom. Empty! I dumped my stuff on the floor, fished a can of shaving cream out of my purse and started applying it to random parts of my body. I was gloating smugly at my own genius when I heard a toilet flush, and with a sinking feeling in my stomach, I remembered too late to check for feet.
"What is this?!" I heard someone demand behind me. I whirled around, my heart leaping into my throat to see a senior girl looking out of a stall at me in wry amusement. For the first time in my life, I wished the girls' bathrooms were doorless like the boys'. The bell rang, and my heart sank from my throat down into my shoes. I was screwed.
The girl positioned herself between me and the exit and was joined by two of her friends after a few moments. I stood there lamely with the can of shaving cream in my hand, wishing I could trip and fall into one of the cracks in the floor and disappear forever.
"Looks like we've got a clever one," one of the newcomers commented.
"Let's go, Einstein," she said, hauling me out of the bathroom by my upper arm. Three boys stood outside, obviously waiting for their girlfriends. They took one look at me and burst out laughing.
"Oh, that's too much! We've gotta do something special for this one," one of the guys said.
"We have to make an example of her," the first girl said, glaring at me, "and I have just the thing." She pulled two rolls of saran wrap out of her backpack and brandished them a bit. I stared uncomprehendingly. What they were going to do with THOSE?
"Fucking perfect," I thought, squeezing my eyes shut against the laughter bombarding me. What kind of person sits at home and thinks up this medieval stuff to do to other people, anyway?! I struggled a little in my saran wrap bonds, trying in vain to free myself, since it was becoming increasingly obvious no one else was going to do it. I felt like a witch tied to the stake as I hung there, plastic-wrapped to the flag pole.
"You could have at LEAST left my feet on the ground!!" I yelled bitterly at the retreating backs of my personal group of persecutors.