There's Something About Time

I woke up Monday morning with a heavy feeling in my belly. This was it. The last day. The time had been far too short.

We trudged across the street, cars packed and ready to head out after breakfast to eat together before going home. The smiles were few and small, the conversation low and serious, the laughter sporadic. It was as though if we'd moved more slowly ourselves, Time would notice us lagging behind and walk more slowly with us.

Inevitably, we finished eating, paid the check and walked outside. I wanted one more picture, but didn't want to mar my photo album of our good times with this sad moment. No, i would keep this one in my memories, i decided. We gave our hugs, said our good-byes, and drove off.

I thought about my new friend i'd known for the last fourish years. I thought about the progression of our relationship from two people who didn't like each other to people who tolerated each other in order to be able to work peacefully toward the same goals with a minimal amount of drama.

I thought of the event that would make me realize she wasn't so bad after all, and the person who brought that event to pass. I gave him a silent thank-you. I thought about how even though i had this epiphany about her, she could have easily held herself aloof after the way i treated her, and how she didn't do that. I gave another silent thank-you. I thought of how easily we could've lost contact after she cancelled her subscription, and about how we didn't. I remembered how awkward it was to talk to her outside the game and outside the context of the game and laughed at us a little bit on the inside. I remembered how eventually, we stopped talking about the game altogether, because while it mattered, it didn't matter at all.

I remembered her suggesting we meet the year previous, and how i shrank from it, all the usual What-Ifs running through my head. I wished i hadn't, but what can ya do? I thought of how lucky and unlucky i am to have a good friend like her in my life, yet not in my life. Why is it the people i get along with best live nowhere near me? This is the second time in my life this has happened to me. It's easy and difficult for me to lament this. After all, i should count myself lucky that i've gotten the chance to know this person, and even luckier that we were able to all get together and have one of the best weekends i've ever had.

But there's just something about Time that makes me greedy for more. There's no need to be greedy for it, as it'll come again, probably before i know it. In the mean time, i'm glad i got to know you and spend time with you Ang :) I'm looking forward to our next get-together!