Singled Out

It's fascinating to me how bullying still happens beyond highschool. That IS when it's supposed to stop, right? I mean, you might suffer it a bit in college if you try to join a party/sports related frat or sorority and you know you didn't fit in with that crowd in highschool, but by and large, i always figured after highschool, being singled out for ill treatment was supposed to fall by the wayside as people matured. Maybe i'm giving people too much credit for the capacity for maturity.

My story begins at my job. Most of us are in our early thirties to late fifties, with a couple of us in our early to middle twenties, and a couple of us in our early sixties to late seventies. Age wise, it's one of the most diverse places i've ever worked, especially with so many older people. There are more people over fifty than people under fifty. You'd think maturity would be as rampant as When I Was YOUR Age stories here, but it really isn't the case.

There's a younger girl, we'll call her Alice (she belongs to the middle twenties demographic), and an older woman, we'll call her Marge (she's in the late forties demographic) here who can't seem to find enough to do around the lab to fill their days, so they are often seen in corners gossipping about their coworkers. Marge's MO is to manipulate Alice into picking on the people they gossip about so that her hands are clean, and Alice gets into trouble. She's been in trouble for being a nuissance to others more than once, and yet she's too dense to realize what Marge is doing to her.

Now Marge went out on medical leave almost 3 months ago, and i figured Alice would settle down and become a normal person without someone to do her heavy thinking for her. After all, most henchmen don't strike out on their own, they look for a new villain to latch themselves onto, and Alice is most definitely a classic henchman. But because she's a henchman and everyone knows it, coupled with the fact that she's only been working here about 10 months, she can't just bully the general populace without experiencing some sort of backlash or, worse, complete disregard.

Her solution: target the new people and torment them. It's genius, really. Almost too smart for her to have figured out on her own. New employees are generally trying so hard to impress the boss that they're not willing to complain about anything at all, including harassment, to avoid seeming like a whiner. It also has the added bonus of deflecting attention from her poor work performance onto the person she's currently trying to make look bad. Enter "Andy", the new guy.

Andy is a 38 year old easy going kind of guy. He is deeply religious, and has most deeply religious peoples' habit of getting preachy when talking about a moral issue he feels strongly about, but knocks it off when you ask him to stop. Really, though, an all-around nice guy. He walked in the door six weeks ago with upward mobility written all over him. This was NOT cool with Alice, who'd been recently promoted to a position only marginally above the one she had been recently occupying. So marginal, in fact, that no pay raise was awarded for the "promotion". But she's taken this marginal position and is now parading it around the lab as though she's been made upper management with a nice salary and company car. It'd be annoying if it wasn't so ridiculous.

Anyway, after Andy's initial training, Alice appointed herself his trainer (ironic, considering her lack of experience, tenure and her general tendency towards complete bumblefuckery) and set about the business of explaining the job poorly and swiftly, and then complaining to the boss about how slow he is and how he isn't picking anything up. My boss (who is definitely in my top five most clever people i've ever met) is well aware of Alice's habits and explains to her that she doesn't think training is really Alice's forte and that she'd rather someone else with more patience and experience be left in charge of Andy's training. Alice then drops all pretense of trying to train the poor guy and just starts harassing him mercilessly. The only thing that's saved her from walking out to the parking lot to find her paint job keyed and her tires slashed is the fact that Andy's a real turn-the-other-cheek type of guy.

Since she wasn't getting anywhere with "Rose" (our boss), Alice turned to me yesterday for "help".

Alice: Oh, he's just so thick! I tell him the same things over and over again and it just doesn't penetrate! I could drill a hole in his head and it probably wouldn't sink in!

Me: What seems to be the problem?

Alice (with hands thrown dramatically up into the air): EVERYTHING!

Me: I need you to be a little more specific than that.

Alice: Well, take DOT training for example. Everytime i --

Me (cutting her off and making a note): Okay, DOT training. Anything else?

Alice (pausing): And he can't load boxes right either. I mean, i honestly don't think the man can even--

Me (cutting her off again, hoping she'll get the hint this time): Box loading. Got it. I think this is a nice start, i'll get with him and see what i can do.

I walk away before she can say anything else.

So i spent some time with Andy today. I explained, in great detail, what Alice seemed to think the guy just wasn't getting. He didn't make many comments or ask many questions, so i asked him questions about the topics we'd just covered. He answered them succinctly. I gave him a box, and asked him to load it and fill out the paperwork, which he did without hesitation or error. I thought this might be the case before i started working with him, but i figured it'd be a good opportunity to see what he knew, and apparently he knew what a six week employee needed to know. And then some. So i went out on a limb and asked him if he had any questions, to which he replied, no, he already knew this stuff.

Me: Okay, well someone had expressed concern over your progress, so i wanted to see your skills for myself before taking any action.

Andy: It was Alice. You can just say it.

Me: Well, honestly i like to get with newer hires after they've been here a few weeks anyhow, so i would've gotten around to talking to you soon even if there was no concern expressed. Do you have any idea why Alice is concerned about you?

Andy: Well, i make a lot of mistakes around her. She's just so bossy and intimidating and critical, and that makes me mess up. With you it was easier because i was relaxed.

Me: Ah, that's what i needed to know. Thank you for being frank with me.

So i took Andy and went out to see Alice and explained to her what i'd gone over with Andy and that he seemed to get it just fine if given the space to do it. I also mentioned that i'd like for him to be given the opportunity to do more DOT work for the extra practise. Andy left, and i closed the door to the room Alice and i were in. She started carrying on about how grateful she was that i'd "straightened his ass out" and how tired she was of trying to explain. I interrupted her and told her:

Me: Cut the negative attitude. If you find a coworker in need of development, i have absolutely no problem with you coming to me and asking me to intervene. What i do NOT need is your personal commentary on that coworker's work ethic and personality. You will stop intimidating Andy. You will encourage him, and correct his mistakes CONSTRUCTIVELY and without criticism. You will not hover over him, follow him around or harass him. Maybe you need to remember that you're still new yourself. I could pick over your performance with a wide-toothed comb and find plenty of flaws for you to work on, if need be, so that you have less time to worry about others. I won't ask you to apologize to him, because i know you wouldn't mean it anyway. You would do well to remember that your employment here could come to an untimely end if he tires of your antics and decides to call HR.

(I don't normally talk like this, but 3+ syllable words seem to have a nice effect on dumb people)

She looked rather unsurprised (which kind of surprised me), apologized briefly and walked away. We have a new girl that just started last week. I wonder if she'll move on to her. I certainly hope so. This girl isn't quite so passive.

So what is it that makes an adult want to treat another adult in the work place like they're on contested playground territory? What the hell are these people trying to prove? I wish they'd grow the fuck up already.