Saturday, January 6, 2007

Who DOESN'T Hate The DMV?!

To be honest, i never really hated it until today. It was one of those minor inconveniences you have to deal with every few years; no biggie, just bring a book.

Today, however, that all changed. I got off work from my crappy midnight shift and decided to take care of business before i went home. When i got to the DMV, the line was moving fairly quickly in spite of how long it was. I was only in for a renewal, after all, and those are not usually time/resource intensive. So anyway, things were moving along splendidly until i got to the picture-taking part. I waited a long time to get my picture done, and then i waited a long time to get called up to actually receive my new license. When i finally got up there, the guy started to hand me a license with my name, address and information, and someone else's picture on it. He looked at the license and then said to me, "You're not Christie Love". What the hell do you say to something like that? I retorted, "Yes i am!" (a weak comeback, i know, but that's really not the sort of thing you expect to hear when you're getting your license back). He looked at the picture, and, after the fashion of the archetypal DMV employee, makde the brilliant, and very accurate statement, "This isn't your picture", to which i replied, "You're right. Wanna take care of that for me?"

So it was back to waiting. A really long time. The guy finally called my name again, and went to hand me my license only to discover it's a different wrong picture! I mean, i was standing right in front of him. You'd think he'd take the trouble raise those dull, mechanical eyes to look at me and make sure it was the right picture before calling me back up there. . . only to display his incredible talent for stating the obvious yet again: "Huh, this isn't you either".

So they put me back in front of the camera to just take my picture again. By this time, two hours had passed, i was tired and angry, and it showed in my new picture. Half an hour later, they finally handed over my correct license with my correct face on it. I had a pretty good picture on my previous one, now i look like someone who's been up all night and had had to wait two and a half hours and endure two wrong faces on their license before finally escaping the horrors of mistaken identity.

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