Sometimes frivolous, sometimes not. It's my brain and it's the only one I've got.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
These Dreams
There was an auditor in my lab, and everyone was extra nervous. Usually an auditor's presence is enough to make us all nervous, but we had an extra reason this time. In our I-131 compounding room, we had this temperature controlled foot locker thing that we didn't want him to see. So the auditor finished his work and left, and i asked one of the pharmacists, "Why don't we want him to know about the locker?". So John pulls it out, and i ask if it's radioactive. He said it was, and it was heavily shielded. Then he brought out this special camera and put it up against the footlocker and told me to look. So i looked inside, and there was a living, pulsing, working liver! I looked up at him and asked wtf we were doing with a liver. He moved the camera all the way down the length of the box, and that's when i saw it wasn't just a liver, it was the entire right-hand side of a man, from skull to right leg. He was cut directly in half, and being kept alive inside this temperature controlled radioactive footlocker. I was like, "Keeping body parts isn't on our NRC license, is it?" And John shook his head and walked off. Overcome by curiosity, Courtney and i decide to open it up. When we did, we originally thought the guy was covered in this red tissue paper to help preserve him, but then we realize that the temperature control that was supposed to keep him cold had failed, and he was at normal temperature and the radiation had burned off all his skin. As soon as i realised this, i also knew that exposing him to the room air would kill him because of all the microbes and stuff. So i slammed the locker shut in a panic, torn between the desire to tell John that the temperature control had failed and the man was going to die (but if i did that, he'd know i'd opened it) and just keeping quiet about it so that my tampering wouldn't be discovered.
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