Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Howie Mandel is NOT Your Friend

Lucky Contestant: Number 11, Howie! WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Case-Holder [to Lucky Contestant]: It's a low number, i can feel it!
Howie [to Case-Holder]: Open the case.

[Queue the suspense music as the Case-Holder slowly opens the case, shoving his huge, impatient head in the way in the attempt to glimpse the amount before everyone else. The Disappointment Sound Cue tells us to "AWWWE!" as the $500,000 is revealed, and the Lucky Contestant loses the $81,000 deal she opted not to take.]

[Cringing] Case-Holder: I'm so sorry!
[Keeping a stiff upper lip] Lucky Contestant: It's okay, it's okay!
Howie: It's okay! The $100,000 is still in play, and you only have four cases to open! You could have that $100,000 right here!
[Howie takes a call from The Banker]

The mistake Lucky Contestant most likely made here was listening to Howie Mandell. The banker called up, offered $81,000, and Lucky Contestant probably leapt on the inside, thinking of all the improvements that money could bring to her life. Then Howie craftily put in his two cents. He said little things like, "Do you BELIEVE the half million is here?" (as if belief had anything to do with the amount in her case), and delivered the Banker's taunts. He emphasized the odds of opening small amounts,making them sound almost guaranteed.

Lucky Contestant is too distracted by large sums of money to realize that Howie is not on her side. Howie's whole job is to keep her slamming that cheap little plastic box, yelling out "NO DEAL! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Even when things go south, Howie's there to make her feel better. When she loses her $81,000, Howie is there to help her get over it as quickly as possible, probably by convincing her she actually has a good chance at the hundred grand. Howie is there to conquer her inner voice of reason.

She's falling for the old Good Cop/Bad Cop routine. Is Howie really that good at his job? Or is she really that greedy? They probably wouldn't even televise my episode if i made it on that show. I'd take the first deal they offered and run. I would defeat you, Howie!

DEAL!

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