Toilet paper. Tampons. Maxipads. "Feminine itch" remedies. Herpes medication. Laxatives. Hemorrhoidal ointments. Incontinence protection.
What do all these things have in common? True, they're all plumbing products, but that isn't really what i was getting at. They're all necessary items. Anyone suffering from these ailments or requiring these items will seek them out when their specific troubles arise. So i have to ask:
Why do the purveyors of these products feel the need to advertise?! If i've got flaming case of hemmorhoids, chances are i'm not gonna just grin and bear it. . . i'm going to the store to find some relief. And i guaranfuckingtee you, as i'm perusing the ass aisle, i'm looking at the active ingredients and drug facts on the box, not struggling to remember if i liked the Tucks or the Preparation H commercial better!
There're few things more irritating than sitting at lunch, enjoying some cottage cheese and peaches when out of nowhere, i'm assulted by a commercial about a yeast infection cure. Fantastic timing, folks.
But the icing on the cake. . . the absolute crown jewel of all the unnecessary ads: The Valtrex commercial. Have you ever seen a more assinine commercial in all your life?! The guy's sitting there, smiling serenely as he says, "I have genital herpes" while his doting girlfriend says, "And i don't" as she clings lovingly to his side. She actually looks glad! PLEASE! If your girlfriend loves you enough to stick around through your incurable genital virus, then you've found a rare girl. Congratulations. But that doesn't mean she's gonna be thrilled about it. The thing that REALLY takes the biscuit about this commercial is, you're not going to walk into a Walgreens and try to decide amongst the plethora of OTC herpes remedies. It's a prescription medication. So when you're sitting at the doctor's office, and your doctor's telling you that open wound on your penis is genital herpes, his next move is probably to prescribe you some Valtrex. This isn't something you're going to have to suggest or ask for. Doesn't this make the commercial kind of, i don't know, obselete?
There's only one other prescription med for genital herpes. Don't know what it is? That's because they've had the good taste to not take out a bunch of bullshit commercial space. If i ever contract genital herpes, i'm going with the OTHER prescription.
What do all these things have in common? True, they're all plumbing products, but that isn't really what i was getting at. They're all necessary items. Anyone suffering from these ailments or requiring these items will seek them out when their specific troubles arise. So i have to ask:
Why do the purveyors of these products feel the need to advertise?! If i've got flaming case of hemmorhoids, chances are i'm not gonna just grin and bear it. . . i'm going to the store to find some relief. And i guaranfuckingtee you, as i'm perusing the ass aisle, i'm looking at the active ingredients and drug facts on the box, not struggling to remember if i liked the Tucks or the Preparation H commercial better!
There're few things more irritating than sitting at lunch, enjoying some cottage cheese and peaches when out of nowhere, i'm assulted by a commercial about a yeast infection cure. Fantastic timing, folks.
But the icing on the cake. . . the absolute crown jewel of all the unnecessary ads: The Valtrex commercial. Have you ever seen a more assinine commercial in all your life?! The guy's sitting there, smiling serenely as he says, "I have genital herpes" while his doting girlfriend says, "And i don't" as she clings lovingly to his side. She actually looks glad! PLEASE! If your girlfriend loves you enough to stick around through your incurable genital virus, then you've found a rare girl. Congratulations. But that doesn't mean she's gonna be thrilled about it. The thing that REALLY takes the biscuit about this commercial is, you're not going to walk into a Walgreens and try to decide amongst the plethora of OTC herpes remedies. It's a prescription medication. So when you're sitting at the doctor's office, and your doctor's telling you that open wound on your penis is genital herpes, his next move is probably to prescribe you some Valtrex. This isn't something you're going to have to suggest or ask for. Doesn't this make the commercial kind of, i don't know, obselete?
There's only one other prescription med for genital herpes. Don't know what it is? That's because they've had the good taste to not take out a bunch of bullshit commercial space. If i ever contract genital herpes, i'm going with the OTHER prescription.
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