Too Soon?

It finally happened a couple of weeks ago. "Jane" broke it off with "John". It really was about time, because it seemed like everyone knew she didn't like John except for John. Dating someone one doesn't like isn't good for anyone involved. What prompted the breakup after two years of mutual misery, you ask?

You probably already answered your own question: another guy. One of the many things that bothers me about this break-up is the fact that her excuse for not breaking it off with him a year and a half ago (when she first suspected she didn't like him) was "My heart is too big to hurt him." It sounded like a chickenshit excuse to me, but it was her decision. It did annoy me when she would complain about him constantly though, but i digress. Her heart was too big to hurt him. . . until "Jeff" came along. Apparently her heart was only large while there were no better prospects on the horizon.

So Jeff comes into the picture and she drops John like bad habit (which, in a way i suppose he was). Well, not right way. Again, her large heart prevented her from breaking up with John before she started sleeping with Jeff. Somewhere in this convoluted logic of hers, it would seem that being cheated on is much less hurtful than being broken up with. This is something i simply don't understand at all.

The timeline here is this:

1----2------------3-4-5--6

1: John and Jane meet and begin dating.
2: Six months later, Jane decides she doesn't like dating John, but neglects to mention that to him (but doesn't hesitate to mention to anyone else who'll listen).
3: Two years later, Jane meets Jeff.
4: Two weeks later, Jane begins fucking Jeff.
5: Two weeks later, Jane dumps John.
6: Three weeks later, Jane and Jeff decide to get married.

WOAH, say what?!

That's right. After not quite knowing each other for two months, Jane decides she's met the acid-dropping, motorcycle-riding, no-income, tattooed and pierced man of her dreams. It's a good thing she dumped John the non-drugdoing pharmacist for this gem. But hey, i'm sure he's a nice guy.

So we finally come to the point of this rambling. How soon is too soon? Even if Jeff were a gainfully employed, non-substance-abusing, productive citizen, is knowing someone less than two months too soon to consider marriage? I mean, if you've met The One and you know it's The One, does it matter if you've known them two months or two years before making a life-long commitment to that person? It just seems too fast to me. In spite of my irritation with and disapproval of Jane's behaviour, she is my friend and i do ultimately care about what happens to her. I'm at a loss for what to say to her. I think she's making a huge mistake, but it's her life and she's entitled to her mistakes. This really isn't one of those things i'd be able to talk her out of anyhow. . . she's so madly in love right now she isn't listening to any of her friends or family. So i suppose for now i'll go along with it and try to hide my feelings about what she's doing, and hope she opens her eyes and sees the cliff before she walks over it.