Bye, Anarchy

Pretend, for the moment, that you've joined a social club. You joined this club to get out and meet new people and do interesting things that you by and large can't/don't want to do by yourself.

Initially, you really like this club! The people are funny, the things they do are entertaining and frequent. You form a few closer friendships with some of them, but on the whole, it's a bunch whose company you truly enjoy.

After a while, some of the people you enjoyed being around leave or are asked to leave by the group's leader/organizer. Then some more leave because the initial few take them with them. In the end, you're left with a handful of familiar faces, and none of the closer relationships. Sure, you maintain the relationships with those people, but the club itself isn't the same without them.

Inevitably, new members come, and and then more new members. You try not to be one of those people who compares the way things are to the way things were, but there's something about this new group of joinees that you just don't like. They're obnoxious, they're much younger (or, at least, they act like they are), and they're all out for themselves rather than the group. They don't want to do things with you unless there's something specific they can get out of it. Eventually, you're just there out of habit, and you're not enjoying yourself anymore. You barely even speak to them anymore, but they don't even notice.

So you finally make the decision to break away from the group and seek another one. NOW all of a sudden everyone's concerned about your leaving and make it out to be this big betrayal. They point out all the things they've done for you in the past (the very DISTANT past, at this point), and try to make you feel bad, like you're letting the group down.

Only you know this not to be the case, because it's been months since anyone's asked you to join in on an activity, and when you suggest one, they kind of look at you like you just farted loudly in the middle of a sermon. You tell the leader how you feel about the no-longer-new group of people in the club, about how you don't feel like you fit in with them.

Instead of understanding and letting you go quietly, the leader then starts making you promises you KNOW he can't keep. After all, he couldn't MAKE this bunch be less obnoxious. And why should they have to alter their personalities simply because you find them distasteful? He can't MAKE people choose you for activities or join the ones you want to engage in. Yet he's insisting things will be different if you would only come back.

Sorry, Chris. It's time to move on.