Over the course of the last few years, i've made friends with, and subsequently broken up with, a girl i work with (we'll call her. . . you guessed it, we'll call her "Jane"). I've blogged about this girl several times over the past twoish years, so i won't go into details about why she sucks so much, but her most unpleasant traits seem to be her tendency to lie compulsively, twist the things people say to her around and then tell everyone else about it, and general back-stabbiness.
The problem is, when she's being nice to me, she seems like such a warm, caring, genuine person. I mean, she's so convincing that after being burned by her repeatedly, i have to mentally remind myself when she's talking to me NOT to fall for her bullshit.
Luckily, she's also incredibly predictable. She's one of those people who can't seem to get along with everyone at once. So once she fell out with the other girl at work she was "friends" with (I suppose we'll call her "June". . . and, as an aside, June is the Not A Racist girl from a few blogs back), i figured it was only a matter of time until she started sucking up to me again.
She obliged on my expectations a few days ago, but her tactic has thrown me for a loop. She actually apologized for being cunty.
Normally when she tries to sleaze herself back into my good graces, she just pretends like nothing happened and that things've always been fine. I can't complain about this because i allow her to do it to a degree- i smile and am pleasant to her, but i don't actually tell her anything vital about what's going on in my life nor do i hang out with her outside of work. I hate having the awkwardness of a bad relationship while i'm AT work, so i go along with it most of the time. Spineless? Two-faced? Maybe. I don't pretend to be a perfect person.
But this time, she actually acknowledged some of the meaner things she did to me and apologized for them. I went through the motions of forgiving her; some of the minor transgressions i actually did forgive her for, and others i cannot find it in myself to be so magnanimous about. I probably don't need to say that she seems very genuine and heartfelt in her apologies, but i just can't help but think that if things were okay between her and June, this conversation wouldn't have happened.
I imagine i'll do what i always do: Smile and say it's okay, don't worry about it, and keep my back always facing away from her. I will remind myself daily that open eyes are appropriate when dealing with Jane, not open arms. After all, open arms would expose my back once again, and i'm all too aware of what happens when i do THAT.
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