I woke up on the retarded side of the bed this morning. When i was assembling my lunch before i left for work today, i pulled out four slices of ham (1 point), some lettuce, a wedge of laughing cow cheese (1 point, and a delicious substitute for mayo on a sammich), an apple (1 point), and a can of Amy's cream of tomato soup (2 points). Yummy soup and sammich day at work, perfect for the dreary drizzly kind of day it was already shaping up to be :D
Except that I completely forgot the bread. Way to go, Einstein.
So lunch time rolled around, and Steve and Jessica decided to eat at El Amigo (which i jealously tried my best not to think about. . . nope, no thoughts of chicken gorditas here!). That worked out well for me, because El Amigo is in the shopping center next door to a grocery store where i could go in and score some bread while Jessica picked up their bags of Mexican tastiness. Yay, plan in place, we set out for Scherrerville.
We took Jessica's new Honda Pilot so she could show it off to me (bonus: we didn't have to use MY gas). While i was playing around with the seat warmer and some of the other gadgets, she swerved violently onto the right shoulder. Startled, i looked around trying to see what she was trying to avoid. . . there were no obstructions in the road, and we were the only ones driving on this street. Noticing me looking around, she said, "I almost hit a squirrel. Poor thing, he's gotta be getting cold!"
Without thinking, i kind of snarled at her, "You should have hit that fucking thing!"
She looked at me, nonplussed. "Why?"
I just stared at her. There was no possible WAY i could have missed telling her the Why I Hate Squirrels story. So that's all this lunchtime story is: a prelude to the Why I Hate Squirrels story.
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