You Can Pick Your Nose, But . . .

I was reading a blog by Jacob about Thanksgiving, and i was struck by this line:

We all in some way or form feel the need to want to "stay close" or "in touch" with our relatives. Why? Is it because you like them and/or share common interests and ideas?

It got me to thinking about the concept of family. Most people i know get along well with a couple of their family members, well enough with more family members if exposed in small doses, and not well at all with the rest though they pretend to for the sake of peace. I was thinking it would be nice if one could get on as well with all the family as they did with the ones they got along with the best. It seems unfortunate that one can't pick one's family members at times.

. . . which got me thinking. What if you COULD pick your family? Imagine having the ability to surround yourself only with people you like, and who like you in return. Gone would be the maternal complaints that you need to settle down and start having a family. No more disappointment from your father that you didn't go to medical school, or become a famous defense attorney. Sibling rivalry? Never again! Your siblings would be supportive of your endeavors, or you could opt for no siblings at all. If you didn't want to work, you could fix yourself up with rich parents and live the socialite life. The possibilities are endless!

It seems like a good fantasy on the surface, but there's one glaring flaw: Just because your new family of people you like are fond of you doesn't mean they'd be fond of each other. Imagine you've picked Martha Stewart as your mom and, say, Gene Simmons as your dad. I can't see those two getting along at all. While they'd think the world of you (assuming they never found out you were the one who paired them in the first place and started resenting you for making their lives miserable), they'd drive you insane with their constant fighting and bickering.

The other major problem with the idea of family member selection is: your current family. Whether you like them or not, they had a major role in shaping you into the person you are today. If you changed your family, you'd also change yourself. Could be a good thing or a bad thing (how would you know till you did it?), but would that be okay with you?

Being around people you dislike or don't get along well with can be an exercise in character building. With the family, it's also an exercise in patience and respect, and in the building and maintaining of relationships. These are the people who keep us from being one dimensional with their nitpickiness and their criticisms. We may not always like what they have to say, but sometimes there's truth at the core of the unpleasantness of what they're saying. Not always, but sometimes.

So i don't know if i'd pick my family members even if i could. Would you? Who would you pick?